how do i even start this...

so i thought it would be a good idea to start blogging. i guess what triggered this is a recent series of events that stimulated my mind so much that i was looking for a notebook (but there wasn't one) to write things down in. realizations, thoughts, questions, encouragements, ideas, etc. don't expect anything more than unpunctuated, non-sensical, lower-case run-on sentences that satiate (is that a real word?) my need to get the thoughts that flood my mind down onto paper. or keyboard. and i am only going to write on this things when i am inspired to and in the mood for it. it is actually a scary thing to me to "bare my soul" on a blog, but i will aim to be as real, raw, and "non-self-editing" as possible. because this is me, after all.

Today was a day of great realizations for me. i spent 9 hours in a car on a drive that should have taken me 5, so there wasn't much else to do but realize things. i was able to see my WONDERFUL friend Chuna along the way, though, and at that point came my 1st realization. Chuna is the most beautiful person i have ever met and i admire so much about that girl i don't even know where to begin. she has the most sensitive, loving, vivacious spirit i have ever seen in a person. i am so thankful for what she has added to my life, and realize how extremely rare it is in this life to find someone you trust with your life and connect to with your soul. she (RE) intoduced me to everyone she works with and then said "ok now HUG HER!" (or him). if absolutely nothing else came from my 11 months living in Seattle, finding my little Ethiopian friend at Cortiva would have been more than enough for me. the Lord really surprises me sometimes.

speaking of that, the other day i drove up to bellingham with my bike on my roof and 20 dollars to live on. i realized that i had forgotten my bike lock combo which would mean that my lock is stuck to my bike and i need to go buy a new one. i could think of more worthy things to spend my 20 on. i prayed that i would remember this combo i hadn't used for 6+ months. the Lord then gave me a VISION of my combo, like the lock numbers were spinning then landed on 5332. i got to my destination, tried the vision combo, and unlocked the lock. wow. ok, so this might sound rediculous, and you might not think the Almighty God of the Universe cares about bike locks, but i'm CONVINCED that He cares about me enough to help me out in the small things in life. and this brought me to another realization: He cares A LOT. about every detail in our lives. if He cares to help me remember my bike combo and save a few much-needed dollars, what more does He want to reveal to me in this life? MUCH bigger things, i'm sure. and He has since then.

another realization: God is still speaking to us. Hebrews says that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. this honestly blows my mind. when i read the Bible i see miracles. millions of them, everywhere. God is still moving, speaking, acting in those ways. i need to be reminded of this every so often. and it isn't always in the audible voice/lightning strike/slap-in-the-face kind of way. i'm sure He speaks to other people that way sometimes too, but not to me very often. He is ALWAYS faithful. TO ALL OF US! TO ME! i'm the worst of sinners and i have hardly been making time for him recently, but He still speaks to my heart. incredible. He did this through a thing my cousin told me about called Loveology. a series of 3 sermons that you can watch the videos of online. i highly recommend it to anyone (google a solid rock church, or a jesus church, something like that. they are out of portland, or). i feel extremely blessed to be known and loved by my Savior.

this made me think about a story about Elijah from 1Kings 19 that i love:

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

i'm back in kennewick and its time to get direction and purpose for this period of time. meaning i need a job. bad. hopefully a massage job. let me now if you know of anything. here are some questions lingering on my mind from my drive today, if you know the answers, fill me in:

-why does everybody drive in the left lane of traffic even if they are S L O WWW? i now pass EVERYONE on the right (fast) and they feel stupid. probably not a good idea.

-Christians put a Christian fish on their cars because they feel the need to tell others that they have submitted to a great Love and live their lives to resemble His. or something along those lines i think. sooo....what is the deal with the Darwin thing? you believe in evolution? cool. did he save you from the fiery lake of burning sulfer (thats real, rev. 21)? i didn't think so. so what are we trying to say people.

-why does not EVERY gas station sell arizona tea? its delicious and it is by far the best deal on a drink in the universe. almost a hundred ounces of healthy goodness for 99 cents. but i'm not biased.

ok.

i just ate an entire bag of cheesy rice cakes so i think that means its time to stop. but i liked this so i'll probably do it again tomorrow. weeee! love you all----